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Fergie's solo album or three-month-old cheese?By Zack Bolien
- CD Review -
However, nothing could prepare me for the pinnacle spot being held by none other than Fergie, the female voice from the Black Eyed Peas. In order for her to claim the top spot, her CD, “The Dutchess,” would have to outsell every other selection on the list. The American majority can't be wrong in their selection, can they? I'll give Fergie some credit: her singing isn't the worst ever. Being forced to listen to it probably will not kill anyone. However, having someone slap you in the face with a plastic bag full of three-month-old cheese won't kill you either. After listening to this CD several times, I can't honestly say which I would prefer. “The Dutchess” is so bad that it actually presents a challenge in describing exactly why it hurts me to hear it. We've all heard these catchy hooks in pop songs before. We've all heard these similar melodies and poppy vocals. And we've all certainly heard the obligatory guest appearance from whatever rap/pop star is popular and available at the time. “The Dutchess” takes all of these things and combines them into a gumbo of unoriginality so thick that it almost passes “bad” and becomes “good” again. In about 30 years, we'll see Fergie on VH1 promoting her one-hit-wonder on whatever “I Love the 00's” show casts her. We'll laugh, remember her single “Glamorous,” and wonder why the CD ever sold so well.
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Looking at the Billboard Top 100 list of CDs can be a sobering experience. On one hand, it's good to see quality bands moving their way up to the top, getting the recognition they deserve.
It must have been hard for Fergie to go from singing in a band devoted entirely to commercialized pop to singing as a solo artist made entirely for commercialized pop. I can't imagine the stress it must have caused her to write an entire album about a wide variety of two topics. Then again, this is the musician who brought us a song consisting entirely of metaphors for her female parts, so I guess I may have set the bar a little too high at ”tolerable.”